“Ritalin” I told the chemist. 

From Ireland, she was beautiful.  But beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

8 coffees and the maximum dose of Ritalin, but at least I felt like I could control my anxiety. That’s new. 

I haven’t always felt this way. In fact I have only felt like I could manage my anxiety for the past 2 days. So what’s changed? 

It started with a psychologist appointment months ago. She planted the seed when she taught me a new concept. “Getting hooked by your thoughts”.

Now, when I have the feeling of a dopamine rush in my gut, my mind “steps into” a new plan and I start to get excited about it… experience has taught me that I need to take a step back, pause and just breath. 

It’s called unhooking yourself. 

When I am  hooked, I need to be a billionaire and I can’t accept anything less. It feels like candy.

When I am unhooked I feel like I want a job. It feels like a home-cooked meal.