Listen to the Music

2 weeks ago I went to a latin dance social and felt socially anxious. I felt that my ego was too big, that I was unlikeable and even that I was ruining it for everyone. I felt like my mind was flapping around like a flag on a windy day. I often feel like this when I drink too much coffee.

The next week I went back to the same social but I had one goal in mind… to manage my anxiety. I found that making this my goal was helpful because it took a complex, chaotic situation and distilled it down to something within my sphere of influence.

I found that the first step was always to simply notice my anxiety when it arose… This made me realise that those thoughts about being unlikeable and ruining it for everyone were part of my anxiety. By labelling them as anxiety I was able to shed doubt on those perceptions cognitively.

Recognising those anxious thoughts arising and labelling them as anxiety also helped me recognise when was the right time to use a technique. The technique I chose was to simply listen to the music. I found that this had a grounding influence on my state of mind. It made me feel that I was “outside of my head”.

Once I was out of my head I was able to notice that very few people seemed to be paying attention to me at all – if any.

On the first week it felt a little bit unsafe because I was so out of control of my state of mind. But in the second week I felt that I learned how to handle those situations… by focusing on managing my state of mind. I felt vulnerable but not distressed or unsafe.

Overall I feel that by seeking out situations which challenged me I was able to grow in self-confidence and feel better about myself.